Couples Therapy Calgary: Heal Hearts, Not Just Habits
Surface fixes won't touch deep wounds. Our emotion-focused approach helps you understand and heal what's really driving your conflicts.
Is Couples Counselling Right for You?
Do you have the same fight over and over, just with different topics - dishes, money, sex, in-laws - but the hurt feels identical?
Do conversations turn into shouting matches or cold silence, leaving you both exhausted and nothing resolved?
Are you walking on eggshells, hiding your true feelings to avoid triggering another conflict?
Does it feel like you're roommates sharing a house rather than lovers sharing a life?
Do unresolved hurts - like betrayal, broken trust, or old resentments - keep poisoning every attempt to reconnect?
Do you find yourself wondering, "Are we too broken to fix, or is there still something worth saving?"
If you recognize your relationship in these questions, you're not alone. The fact that you're here means the love is still there - it's just buried under layers of hurt.
Calgary couples counselling can help you find your way back to each other when you can't seem to do it on your own.
What Sets Our Couples Therapists Apart
Both Hearts Welcome Here
We never take sides or play referee. Our couples therapists create safety for both partners to share their truth - even the ugly parts. You'll each feel heard and understood, not ganged up on or blamed for everything wrong.
Emotion Experts, Not Advice Givers
We don't hand out communication scripts that fall apart under real stress. Our therapists understand the science of love and connection - we help you understand why you trigger each other and heal those raw spots.
We See the Love Under the Hurt
Even when you can't. Our therapists look past the anger and withdrawal to find the attachment needs underneath. Most fights are really cries for connection: 'Do I matter to you? Are you there for me?' We help you hear each other again.
Marriage Counselling Calgary Trusts
“Helped me to grow as a professional and to be a better person.”
“The best therapist I have ever used.”
“Fantastic to work with.”
“Professional, reliable, compassionate.”
“Easy to speak to and non-judgmental.”
“I would refer a family member in a heartbeat!”
Meet Your Relationship Therapists
Rod Mitchell, MC, MSc, Registered Psychologist
Hi! I'm Rod, founder of Emotions Therapy Calgary.
I believe every couple has a unique emotional dance - and most are stepping on each other's toes without realizing it. When I founded this clinic, I wanted to offer more than communication tips that dissolve under real pressure.
Our Calgary psychologists understand that beneath every criticism is a cry for connection, behind every withdrawal is a fear of rejection. We don't just teach you to fight fair - we help you understand why you fight at all. Because when you recognize the attachment needs driving your conflicts, something shifts.
Your relationship deserves more than surface fixes. It deserves to heal at the level where love lives - in the space between two hearts trying to find their way back to safety.
Alexis (Alya) Serghanuk, MSc, Registered Provisional Psychologist
That moment when your partner speaks and your body goes into fight-or-flight? Your nervous system remembers every hurt. I'm Alya, and I help couples calm their reactive bodies.
Using somatic approaches, I teach you to recognize physical warning signs before explosion - the chest tightening, jaw clenching, stomach dropping. My CBT training helps challenge the automatic thoughts that fuel conflicts: "They always..." "They never..." "This means..."
Together, we'll create new experiences of safety in your relationship. You'll learn to soothe your body and question your assumptions, choosing curiosity over certainty.
Connection is possible when your body knows it's safe. Let me show you how.
Yuchen Zhong, MC, Registered Provisional Psychologist
When love turns to loneliness, you need more than advice - you need a roadmap back to each other. I'm Yuchen, trained in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method.
My EFT training helps me guide you through the profound moments of "Are you there for me?" while Gottman's research shows me exactly what makes relationships last. I blend both approaches to help you rebuild your friendship and reignite emotional connection.
Whether you're navigating betrayal, growing apart, or just can't stop the criticism-defensiveness cycle, we'll identify your negative pattern and create new bonding moments. I help couples move from "How did we get here?" to "I'm so glad we're here together."
Even the loneliest marriages can bloom again. Let's nurture yours back to life.
Your Couples Therapy Journey With Us
1. Creating Safety for Both Hearts
We start counselling by establishing ground rules where both partners feel heard, not attacked. You'll each share your experience without interruption, while we help you truly listen - maybe for the first time in years.
2. Mapping Your Emotional Dance
Together, we identify your cycle: who pursues, who withdraws, what triggers the spiral. You'll see how one partner's criticism is really saying "Come closer" while the other's silence screams "I'm not enough." Understanding your pattern is the first step to changing it.
3. Finding the Hurt Under the Anger
We go beneath surface conflicts to discover the attachment injuries driving them. That fight about dishes? It's really "Do I matter to you?" That explosion about being late? It's "Can I count on you?" When you understand the real questions, compassion replaces combat.
4. Reaching Through the Wall
This is where transformation happens - vulnerable moments where you risk sharing your deepest fears and needs. We guide you through these conversations safely, helping you reach for each other instead of weapons.
5. Building Lasting Connection
As safety grows, we help you create rituals of connection, repair conflicts quickly, and maintain intimacy through life's challenges. You'll leave with tools to protect what you've rebuilt - because healing your relationship is just the beginning of enjoying it.
Frequently Asked Questions
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This is more common than you think. Many relationships have one partner who's ready for couples counselling while the other resists. You have options:
Start with individual therapy focused on relationship issues
Share this website or testimonials to reduce their fears
Suggest a single session "just to try" with no commitment
Frame it as wanting to be a better partner, not fixing them
Sometimes the resistant partner fears being blamed or "ganged up on" in therapy. Others believe seeking help means the marriage has failed. These fears often dissolve once they experience our non-judgmental counselling approach.
Many of our couples started with one reluctant partner who now values therapy most. If they absolutely won't come, individual relationship counselling can still help you change destructive patterns and communicate differently. When one person changes their steps, the whole dance changes.
Remember: their resistance is often fear, not indifference to the relationship.
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Absolutely not. Our couples therapists don't make decisions about your relationship - you do. We're here to help you see clearly, not judge your choices.
Our role in marriage counselling is to:
Help you understand your relationship patterns
Create space for honest communication
Support whatever decision feels right for both partners
Provide tools whether you stay together or part
Some couples discover renewed love through therapy. Others realize parting is healthiest. Many find a middle ground they couldn't see before. We honour all outcomes that lead to less suffering and more authenticity.
The only counselling agenda we have is reducing pain and increasing understanding. Your therapist will never pressure you toward break up or divorce. Instead, we help you both get clear on what you want and whether it's possible together. The choice to stay, leave, or reimagine your relationship always remains yours.
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It's true that couples counselling can feel harder before it feels better. This is actually normal - like cleaning a wound before it heals.
Early sessions might:
Bring up buried resentments or pain
Feel awkward as you learn new ways to communicate
Create temporary increases in conflict
However, our therapists are trained to manage intensity safely. We won't let sessions become destructive or push you deeper than you're ready to go. If emotions escalate, we have tools to help you both stay grounded.
The difference between therapy "making it worse" and necessary healing is that in therapy, difficult conversations happen with professional guidance. You're not just reopening wounds - you're actually treating them this time.
Most couples report that even when sessions feel challenging, they leave with more understanding than hurt. The temporary discomfort of honest conversation is worth the lasting relief of finally being heard.
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Never. Effective relationship therapy requires both partners feeling safe and valued. Taking sides would destroy that safety instantly.
Our couples therapists are trained to:
See both perspectives with equal compassion
Challenge both partners when needed
Recognize each person's pain and contribution
Maintain neutrality even when one seems "right"
We understand that in struggling relationships, both people are usually hurting. The "difficult" partner often feels the most unseen. The "victim" may unknowingly contribute to cycles. Everyone has valid needs that aren't being met.
If you ever feel ganged up on during marriage counselling, tell us immediately. Your therapist will adjust their approach. Sometimes we might seem to focus more on one partner temporarily - not because we're taking sides, but because that's what the relationship needs in that moment.
Our only bias? We're on the side of your relationship healing, however that looks.
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Yes, many relationships can heal after infidelity - though it takes commitment from both partners. Affairs shatter trust, but they don't have to mean the end.
Our approach to affair recovery includes:
Creating safety for the hurt partner to express pain
Helping the unfaithful partner take full responsibility
Understanding what made the relationship vulnerable
Rebuilding trust through consistent actions, not just words
Healing infidelity in couples counselling isn't about "forgive and forget." It's about creating a new relationship built on deeper honesty than before. The betrayed partner needs to feel truly heard. The partner who strayed needs to understand the impact without drowning in shame.
This specialized work takes time - trust rebuilds slowly. But we've seen many couples emerge stronger, with more intimacy than they had before the crisis. Affairs can be endings or beginnings. With professional counselling support, you get to choose which.
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Primarily together, with flexibility when needed. Most couples counselling happens with both partners present - that's where relationship patterns become visible and change happens.
However, we might suggest individual counselling sessions when:
Processing specific trauma or shame
One partner needs help managing intense emotions
There are secrets affecting the relationship
Building trust requires temporary separation
Our typical approach includes 80-90% joint sessions with occasional individual meetings. Anything discussed individually that affects the relationship eventually needs addressing together - we don't keep secrets that harm healing.
Some therapists never see partners separately. Others mix individual and couples work regularly. We believe in flexibility based on what your unique marriage needs. The goal is always returning to work together, stronger for having addressed individual challenges.
Important: Individual sessions within couples therapy focus on the relationship, not personal therapy. We're still working on your connection, just from different angles.
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Every relationship heals at its own pace, but here's what's typical:
Crisis stabilization: 4-8 sessions
Significant improvement: 3-6 months
Deep pattern change: 6-12 months
Maintenance/growth: Ongoing as needed
The timeline depends on factors like:
How long problems have existed
Commitment level of both partners
Complexity of issues (affairs, trauma, addiction)
Consistency with sessions and homework
Some couples experience breakthrough moments early in marriage counselling. Others need months to rebuild trust. Progress isn't always linear - expect good weeks and difficult ones.
Many couples continue monthly "tune-up" sessions after intensive work ends. Think of it like relationship maintenance rather than crisis management. There's no shame in longer-term support - it shows commitment to keeping your connection strong.
The real question isn't how long therapy takes, but how long you've been suffering. Even years of counselling is worthwhile for decades of healthier love.
You both deserve to feel loved again.
Start with a free consultation where both hearts are heard. No judgment, no pressure - just a safe space to explore what's possible.